#18: Keirsey and Parenthood

• "In their own subtle, often shy way, INFPs want to lead others forward, as kindred spirits - they will find no greater opportunity for this than in parenthood." 

Sometimes I think about how my kids will turn out, what kind of parent i'll be, how many I have. Half the time I want 4 kids, then i'll go to the store and see a kid throwing a tantrum and i'll want to get my tubes tied before I even had one kid. 

• "From the start, INFP parents are warm, loving and supportive, and take immeasurable joy in the wide-eyed wonder of their children as they explore, learn, and grow. People with the INFP personality type will give their children the freedom they need to do this, keeping an open mind and letting their children gain their own sense of understanding." 

I hope, that when i'm a parent I give my kids the freedom to mess up and discover themselves and just that, i'll give them an outline of sorts but i'll let them become their own person. 

• "INFPs never stop encouraging their children to learn and grow, and they consider it their duty to inspire and motivate them, both by using their sensitivity and intuition to speak in their children's language and by leading the way themselves."

I will never tell my kids that something they choose to do isn't good enough, or "isn't the correct path" (unless its drugs and illegal activity, than obviously I'm gonna tell them they're being stupid). I have family members that look down on their kids because of what they choose to  major in, in college. Family members who think that if you're not making a lot of money then you're not doing anything at all. I don't want to be them. I will continuously tell my kids that the just keep on doing what interest them and what makes them happy. 

• "People with the INFP personality type take their responsibilities in parenthood seriously, and in this measure above all others."

Dude, if I choose to give berth to kids than I am in it for the win. It will become my number one responsibly to care for these little people that I've created , thats it. Done . Over with.

• "The biggest challenge for INFP parents, especially more turbulent types who often have even more trouble with self-doubt than most, is to establish more practical and day-to-day structures and rules."

I have a real love hate relationship with structure and schedules and routines. I like knowing whats going to happen next just the same way that I dont like knowing whats going to happen next. I'll set up a schedule but I most likely won't follow it. I dont know, its going to be really hard enforcing something onto my kids that I'm not even completely comfortable with. 

• "INFP personalities do best with a partner who is able to play a stronger hand in more administrative tasks than they can, so they can focus on the underlying spirit of those rules."

I will definitely need someone that can lay down the law sternly and not even bat an eye. So that I can take on all the fun cool stuff and be the easy parent, and my significant other can take on the dishing of punishments and screaming at the kids when they aren't awake on time and stuff like that..... I'm kidding..... Probably. 

Now speaking totally irrelevantly to the Keirsey Temperment stuff. I think a good parent is someone that can supply their child with the things they need and want, all within reasonable bounds. Someone that can listen to their kid but not give advice unless asked to. Someone that can see that there kid is struggling and sinking under the weight of their responsibilities , and will take some of that responsibility off of their kids shoulders. A good parents learns who their child is at all stages of their lives, or at least attempts, and realizes that kids change and grow all the time .  I also believe that the definition of a good parents also depends on the type of child you're parenting. Nobody is really qualified to say what exactly a good parent is , I think.